Sunday, July 15, 2012

Speechify me

I should be an adult by now, but I think I've moved into the bargaining phase, in which I plead with myself not to do anything I'll regret.  Do adults have more self-control?  I also googled breaking up, hoping I'd discover a way to fast-forward time.  Alas.

(I did learn that I shouldn't go over to his house and return the present he gave me, while spouting forth a heartfelt speech about how much he sucks and I rock.  The speech would make him beg to date me again, so that I could later dump him.  It's good that I learned this, because I was already on the 3rd draft.  The content brought tears to my eyes.)

I would be even more self-indulgent if it wasn't for the fact that a giant stinging insect somehow made its way inside to terrorize me.  It won't leave my room.  I'm afraid to piss it off.  I can't leave b/c the thesis corrections are supposed to be done by tomorrow afternoon.  They're far from done, but today is the first day that I can honestly say I'm working on them.  Only took 2 and a half days.  Not consistently working, but hey - it's boring.

Because I'm still in the anger/spiteful phase, I honestly hope he's miserable right now.  Because some of this is self-directed anger/spite, I doubt his degree of misery is equal to mine.  I just want it to be equal or more.  Yes, this is the blog where I broadcast uncomfortable truths about myself.  I like to think blogging is anonymous, but shows about genius hacker cyber criminals have showed me that it's not.  And yet I click the "Publish" button anyway.  Why?  Writing makes me feel better.

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