Sunday, March 29, 2015

Sunday night, perfectly content for once

Months later and I'm still listening to Sam Smith's cd. So sad that I didn't figure out he was coming to Merriweather in July until I heard it on the radio - of course by then it's too late. The only way I'm getting to go is if I win some tickets. Oh Sam. I follow him on Instagram.

Good news on the music front is that my all time favorite James Morrison is slowly stirring. He's featured on someone else's single. I'll take what I can I get. If James has an Instagram, I don't know about it. I think he's too cool for Instagram.

My favorite celebrity on Instagram is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. The man is downright charming.

JW totally grew on me. He dropped by last night, was feeling sick though. Going to be sad when he leaves, but I'll take what I can get before then. Today I spent Sunday perfectly happy. Read a book. Watched an episode of Heard It Through the Grapevine. Started another book. Hula hooped. Texted friends/family that I love and that love me. Found out that MB had her third child and it's their first boy! I think 3 is the perfect number. I wonder if he'll have dual Korean/US citizenship. He's such a cutie. MB is awesome. That little boy is lucky in the parents God gave him.

Give me the guts to cancel my Verizon cable/phone subscription. I need to give it up. Books hold my interest more than TV, but they're not as warm sometimes. I like seeing people walking/moving/dancing/being foolish. You know, all the things I do. When you read, all those things happen as well (if it's a good book), but you imagine them, so they come from yourself to some extent. Is that healthier?

Last weekend, my mom told me on the phone that I was an average student until I started reading in 3rd grade. My teacher at Eisenhower Elementary noticed me and set me on an advanced track. Her name was Mrs. Calhoun. I owe a lot to her then, which I definitely didn't realize until Mom told me. I hope she's doing alright, enjoying retirement from teaching.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Bye Bye Bye

I don't feel any different.

I think it's important to give myself time to think when I've made a big decision. How do I feel? Is there a problem? How much is dictated by society? For instance, I have 2 dresses I bought from H&M a few years ago when I first started this blog, so when I was in the throes of post-break up angst. I was so motivated to work out then. Anyway, when I pulled out the dress today I said, I'll look better in this if I lose more weight. I weigh about 135lb. I'm only 5'4", but I'm built muscular, so this isn't overweight. My problem spot is my stomach area because I'm built straight up and down, no hourglass. Even if I weight 125lb, I'd still not look good in that skin tight dress because I don't have waist definition. Anyway, society tells me that I look good when I have no visible chub and an hourglass figure. I'm  programmed to think that. I like my body. Me and my body are good now, well except for this tendency to break out over the past 2 weeks. Did spring allergies get replaced by pimples? Why do they have to be on my face?  Anyway, I like my body and I don't feel bad that I'm not an hourglass figure, and I'm sure if I was, I wouldn't be satisfied by the terms of society either. I mean, US society is traditionally satisfied by an airbrushed woman, hence all the empowerment campaigns.

I'm thinking that other people are more attached to their parents. I love my parents. We talk on the phone every week or so. We're thrilled when we see each other. But other people are so much more entwined with their parents. Are mine unusual?

When I was in lala-land right after the wisdom teeth removal, my younger cousins came over to see me and the 16yr-old said she used to think about what would happen if her parents died and she had to come live with us. She said she didn't want to because she was scared of spiders. Yeah, there are spiders in the downstairs of my parents' house. I thought it was funny because when I was younger, I always wondered what would happen if my parents died and I had to go live with her parents. Haha. Ah youth.

I heard on the Kane Show that today is the 15th anniversary of N'Sync's No Strings Attached album. It's their second album that had such hits as Bye Bye Bye, It's Gonna Be Me, and This I Promise You. Wow, Justin Timberlake has come far. Also, I was a kid, but I remember something that happened 15 years ago!  Today when Bye Bye Bye came on in the car, I was dancing the music video dance while driving to work. 9am isn't too early to party. Yay middle school.
Had a brioche at IHop today. Getting in those veggies and protein.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

spot the song lyrics

It's been a while. What happened?

  • Got all 4 wisdom teeth out on 2/26. Luckily, I went home for this because recovery was more miserable than I thought. My sister waited during the surgery and drove me back. Thanks, drugs, I have no memory of this.  My brother watched The Big Bang Theory with me (he's here!). My dad read me a story when the medicine made me too sick to look at the TV or words on a page. He made me stick to the ice routine. I couldn't have done that myself. I had to sleep sitting up, and then I'd wake up in the middle of the night from the pain.  I didn't go back to work until 3/3. I can chew and all now, but I still have to squirt a syringe in my mouth because food gets stuck in the holes and I can feel it!
  • When I went back to work, it was during the horror, aka the busiest month of the year in this job. I worked 9.5/10 hour days consistently until yesterday.
  • My dad had a birthday. My brother had a birthday. My St. Patrick's Day cousin had a birthday. My nana had a birthday. And my oldest McM cousin had a birthday.
  • I started dating a cop. He got a job offer in TX. I guess we're over, but I still like him until he's gone. He texted me when I couldn't talk b/c of the wisdom teeth pain. And then he brought me flowers the first time he met me in person and told me my face wasn't that swollen.
  • AK is going to live in UT for residency. Sundance, can I meet JGL? AC is going to live in Philly in June; why you just leave me? Just leave me be. Why you just leave me? Ushah, Ushah
  • BG is consistently an awesome cousin. I'll never forget when we were all little kids and she gave us her Polly Pocket. We loved that toy.
  • Did I mentioned I finished War and Peace? I found it surprisingly engaging until the very end devolved into philosophical ramblings.
  • Didn't watch one K-drama until last night, when I watched 10 minutes of the first episode of Heard It Through the Grapevine. It's a weird show, filmed with a dark lens, the characters are funny/peculiar because they're pathetic. For now, I'll keep watching because of the peculiar.
  • A spider bit me 5 times in the night, so I freaked out and slept in the twin bed for a week. Cleaned the little chest by my bed and there was the spider! I've had many enemies...  It's been 2 days since I got the courage to sleep in the queen bed again, but I threw that spider outside, so haven't had any more problems, knock on wood.
So what do I need to do?
  • Get the courage to register for an adult swim class.
  • Cancel the Verizon TV/landline and keep only the internet. Then buy a Hulu subscription as fast as I can. I miss the morning local news already. Patrice! Tom! Candace-baby's wooden smile!
  • Buy work clothes that fit. Specifically pants.
  • Visit Nana and Poppi on Easter.
  • Maintenance request for them to fix the blinds in the twin bed bedroom.
  • For the love of God, exercise in that gym you're paying for!
  • Make an account on jobs.gov or whatever it is. Civil servant!

Thursday, February 19, 2015

late to the Lent party (not Catholic anyway and you can't make me convert)

I said I'd apply for this job tonight, but I don't have the password. It's at work. Going to have to apply during my lunch break. Ha! Like I'm going to get one of those at the rate things have been going this week. Today I only had time to choke down some chicken soup and then I took one bite of my string cheese and had to put it down for a phone call. What would B say? She would have said to let the phone ring. I should have done that, but I feel compelled to answer since I'm the only one doing any of the budget stuff. So it's scary to apply for another job when the office I'm in now is in such a tumultuous stage. Anyway. Trying to rework this resume but soon I'll give up and go to sleep.

So tired. Going to set my alarm for 7am since that's when I'll get out of bed anyway. I've had to up the biotin because it's so dry, but that's fine because the bottle says I could take 5 a day if I wanted. One has been enough, so I only upped it to 2. There's no reason for me to develop an intolerance to it and have to take even more.

On my immediate shopping list (besides the ever-present food) is: black socks. My shoes require them and I don't have them. My feet are always cold. I think the heater stopped working for the lower heat - you know how you can direct it to your feet? Yeah, when I do that I just get cold air, so I've stopped bothering. Basically from the moment I leave my apartment in the morning, that's when my feet are cold. In the car my hands ache because of the steering wheel. How are the homeless people doing this? I hope they're able to get to a shelter where they're warm and safe.

Lent has started without me realizing. I'm not Catholic, but I'm some weird kind of Methodist that does Lent every year. It's only day 2. What can I do to exercise restraint that isn't foregoing hot water for 40 days? That just isn't happening. How does that not make a person sick? I could do the thing I did one year and not watch tv unless I'm hula hooping. I could give up dramas, but that wouldn't be a super hard challenge as I'm not addicted to any right now. I'm still working on my New Year's resolutions, but I can't do the swim one yet anyway. What was the other? Oh yeah, okc. I don't know how I've gotten so messed up, but for a long while now the people I find most attractive are similar to me in terms of background, ideology, priorities, etc. All these okc people who aren't at least an 80% match, well I believe in numbers and don't bother to respond. And then there's the ones you just stay away from because your momma told you and so did your friends and then that was your experience too.

I want to be warm again. I have to steel myself when it's time to go outside. Not cool.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

snow day party of one, waldo

I'm one of those people who needs to go to work, rather than work from home. The reason? I'm way too happy with the party of one I'm having today, and the party is made even better by the fact that I haven't worked for the past 3 days thanks to the long weekend. I have all the food I need. I get to look out the window. I get to stand up and walk around in fleece-lined tights, a t-shirt, and a hoodie. What I have taken away from this day is that I want more fleece-lined tights. Oh how I wish I knew where my mom got these from 2 years ago. That's the thing about presents where your relatives cut the tags off before giving them to you.  Maybe these are it?

Help me, I'm scared to get on okcupid because how do I wade through the ocean of people to find the right one? I'm not a person who believes in one soulmate, rather I believe that multiple people could be the one for you, but you'll never run into all of them. So I'm trying to get lucky enough to run into one of them. Hardest Where's Waldo ever.

Is Waldo even a real name? Never met any Waldos. Wait, there's Ralph Waldo Emerson.  Okay. It must be a real name then.