put aside your Self

A person can get used to anything. Picture me at an 8am dentist office, getting a filling redone. Oh the numbing and the needles and the suction and the drilling. After a half hour of being tense and trying to go boneless, I actually got sleepy. The dentist had jokes today too - before he started he whirred the drill behind me and was all "I have to set the mood." I laughed again just now as I typed that.

Yesterday I discovered I'd been food poisoning myself all week with Fuji apples from the grocery store. The pesticides sunk in through the appleskin, which I ate, and my body rejected them (and all the other stuff too). I played volleyball anyway - had to now that I'm almost a semi-consistent server. 3 games of 3 on 3. I got hit on the head(sunglasses mushed into my face, the works). I was fine, so I kept playing. I even went on a short solo jog afterwards because outside was gorgeous; then I drove home, hula hooped, and developed a headache. I took Ibuprofen, then called my mom to make sure it wasn't a concussion. She said nap, so I went to sleep at 8pm and didn't wake up until 5:20am... It was meant to be a nap. There's just something about sleeping. So many people are reluctant to relinquish control over their lives, but everyone releases their consciousness and sleeps. We literally put aside our sense of self, our id, our ego, our whatever. I've always had a super easy time with letting go and sleeping, which is slightly disturbing. How do we do it? I'll even accept the scientific answer. Fascinating.

I used my Runkeeper app to sign up for a 2 month "Fat Burner" program. I needed to commit to something. I'm not really sure it'll work, but it starts Sunday, barring rain. "Work" means reduce my middle.

Friday night I'm headed to PA. Maybe I'll take the parkway if there's no traffic jam. It's prettier than 95, and I'll be on 95 after Baltimore anyway. Excited to see my family. Kind of nervous to see potential Bud-2 (yeah, that's still happening). Wow pessimism. I need an attitude change.