Thursday, January 31, 2013

and none of that wishing for more wishes

I've gotten so much better. My cousin posted a bunch of zodiac stuff, so I looked up Libra.  The verdict: The way a Libra seeks love and romance can lead them to tons of depression and heartache for being so open and willing, something they must be mindful of. Dangling participle aside, can I really be mindful of a character trait? Well yes, but can I change that character trait? With every relationship, the breakup depression has lasted as long as the relationship. I don't mean to trust the other person, but I can't help it, and broken trust is agh. Like the gnats from "A Bug's Life" staring at a bug zapper on a summer night: 

"Don't look at the light!" 
"I can't help it." <flies closer>
Zap - dead!

But I can't help it. I'm talking about friendship now. If we get to the point where we like each other and do things for each other and hang out and are each other's type of people, then I'm going to trust you. Girls are bitches, so a female friend is rare and awesome (by awesome, I mean honestly inspiring awe). I think the heartbreak degree isn't as high for broken friendships because we have multiple friends at the same time, many of them superficial, but no multiple boyfriends. At least, I'm not savvy enough to pull that off.
And I'll certainly never be this savvy.
Anyway, before that bout of introspection, I just wanted to say that I reached the end of my freewrite book yesterday, so I was looking through it. It lasted from Oct2012 to Jan2013, and concerning Bud, I came really far. Time. Distance. Not looking at his facebook. I am an expert at not seeking out things that hurt me. Facebook doesn't even tempt me.

Does only March get the privilege of coming in like a lion and going out like a lamb (or is it vice versa)? I'm talking about the weather patterns of life, dudes. Not my best metaphor. But I have hopes for February. I got dreams, people. At midnight I'll say rabbits rabbits rabbits. I wished on the full moon on Saturday (I saw it in Kimchi Family). I pray. I finished my PhD apps. I apply to all the jobs I qualify for, although I draw the line at retail. So February, let's spend it on a (non-emotional) roller-coaster.
The coaster's track follows the letters. We're in for some loops.

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