Monday, September 3, 2012

Yellow leaves

Was reading (as usual these days. Some nights). Came across this description: life at the time when you look like an adult, but you don't feel like one. Describes me! Almost. When I'm dressed casually, most people assume I'm a sophomore in college. I get to tell salespeople my parents aren't home. Unless I'm with a group of people who look like they're 20-something, I get carded in the movie theater. I'm the oldest, but whenever I'm with my siblings, even not-so-distant family members assume I'm the youngest. This does a number on my youngest sister's self-esteem because she's 7 years younger (not even 20-something yet).

It's Labor Day. The high was 73 and it's raining. Can't go running. In June, the end of spring felt like summer already. I wanted it.  Now, the end of summer feels like fall already. Two weeks ago on a run the wind blew through a tall stand of wild cherry trees and hundreds of yellow leaves fell seventy feet sideways across a curve in the road. I stopped and stared. It was cloudy. It was a sunset I couldn't see for the woods looming in the west. Warm sweat started to pool on my forehead, and I may have wiped it away with the bottom of my shirt. The wind made the leaves sound like a stream, and I remembered the time I almost lost myself in different woods following phantom water. The fallen leaves were so yellow against the dark green undergrowth and the brown mud trail I knew lead towards the real stream. Yellow meant summer was leaving, even though all the other trees were still green, still holding their leaves tight to brown branches. Those falling leaves were beautiful. I started running again, down towards them.
Birches.  Not the same as wild cherry, but still beautiful.
Gave into peer pressure and watched a teen movie (not a vampire one). It was Roman Colosseum meets reality television meets American Civil War meets 1984's big brother. Instead of this movie, I should have watched a Joseph Gordon-Levitt indie flick. 2005's 'Brick' for the win.

I found something I want. I want to read Junot Diaz's This Is How You Lose Her. It comes out 9/11.

Still think of Bud, but not so sad lately. New season?

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