Tuesday, February 19, 2013

freak out! le freak c'est chic

I asked for February to be a roller coaster month (see here), and I got my wish. Thank you, God. I ask for plenty of other things and don't get them, but I got this one. I have decisions to make. I have options. I'm freaking out because good things happened to me - not because bad things happened, or because no things happened.

My dilemma - After weeks of searching, I found an apartment today - got a deal on a 2 bedroom townhouse. I put down the security deposit. I drove back home. Tired, weary, I got an email notification on my phone: future work needs more paperwork. I turned on my laptop and logged into my email. I see another email from an unfamiliar name. It's the graduate coordinator from one of the schools I applied to and I got into a Geography PhD program with funding! I'm ecstatic - I am smart enough, qualified enough, good enough to get my PhD.

I remember I just got a job.

A good paying job.

I dissolve into a frantic flurry of panic, moan to my mother (she's pro-job), moan to my father (it's your life, both choices are good), then moan to my sissy (if I were you, I'd cry). Then I frantically call M, who's less than 2 months from her dissertation and knows what's what. She doesn't answer. I text her. I call B, who doesn't answer, so I leave a frantic freakout voicemail. I moan again to my dad and sister, who are busy cooking.

M calls. She's an angel. The voice of reason. She says ask if I can defer. I love her. We talk. B calls in the middle. I call her back after I hang up with M. She tells me congratulations and that things are finally going well for me. That she's happy for me. That Bud is going to get his PhD in a far away state which I've only driven through. B says we'll get together before I leave. I invite her down (of course).

c'est chic
Relationships with other people are the most important thing in the world. And I love our dog.

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