Monday, August 27, 2012

Up and Down

It feels like it's the first day of school everywhere (Everywhere?  Everywhere.). A bunch of my relatives started new programs or are finishing up current ones. One is going for a Ph.D., or a phid, as I say in my head. There's also a college freshman, a sophomore, and a senior. The high school cousins.  And I probably have more cousins going to school who I've never even met. Let's not even talk about all the friends who are back in school. I must run with an educated crowd. And here I used to think my relationship with education would be over when I was 21.

This morning I got stuck behind an elementary school bus for about 8 stops. I saw the families standing in their driveways, putting smartly dressed little girls and boys onto the school bus for the first time, waving as the bus pulled away. It was just like on 90s television. I don't remember my own first day of school, but I've seen the pictures. Downside is I'm feeling like a slacker because I'm not starting anything. My father pointed out that slackers don't ever feel like slackers. Comforting, but I'm still left with this feeling. I admit that a part of this feeling is a stupid competition with Bud over who doesn't need the other one more. As far as I know, this takes place only in my head. That's why I called it stupid.

I drowned my sorrows in texting and fiddling with my new phone, and so, for the first time since May, I forgot to go running. I looked up, and it was dark outside. Fail. In repentance, I found a 5K that's run on trails (saving my knees and shins from certain doom), scheduled for late September.

To pre-register or not to pre-register?  

If I pre-register, it's saying either:
1) I will still be unemployed 4 weeks from now
2) I will be employed, but still living with my parents
Of these scenarios, I prefer #2.

If I don't pre-register, I'd pay $5 more on race day and not be guaranteed the race t-shirt. And, I'd be putting all my eggs in this basket:
3) In 4 weeks, I'll have a job and a new apartment far away.

Looking at what I've written, I think I maybe think too much.
Thanks, Pink.

Also, lately I seem not to have emotions. They're more accurately described as mood swings. I don't like it.

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