to be like family

December. Back in my apt after 4 days away. It's the same. I'm probably the same. I've been hundreds of miles away by car. I came back though. When I travel, I sometimes think about staying forever in the place I visited. I think I'd be happier there in the moment when I choose between north and south. It's lying to myself of course. I hear about people who just drove away, but those people don't want the ties. I want more ties. I want to be firmly anchored. Many other people want this more than I do. Family is our social construct which binds us; even close friends are said to be "like family."

I wished on a star on the drive back, about a half hour in. Perfect clumps of clouds obscuring the just set sun. There, dead ahead the first star, probably actually a planet. I wished on it anyway, and I wished not to be lonely. No matter how much I age, I'm always in this mood when I leave my family.

Starlight, star bright, first star...

In other news, I'm debating online dating to relieve the boredom. Is this a sign that I need to find some local single friends? I'm stuck on my name. Also, I need someone to take photos of me that aren't me posing next to Batman and Robin at Six Flags...