Tuesday, November 27, 2012

memories in the forest

I need to be taken down. Mentally, not physically. A couple years ago, I got really good at Scrabble - all so I could beat my cousin who's 6 years younger than me. Yeah, I'm intimate with the 2-letter word list. Recently, I gave into peer pressure and started a certain words game that you play with your friends. And now I'm beating them and getting a really big head about it. Humility is ingrained in me (thanks parents), so of course this means a bad thing will happen to punish me for my overconfidence. Someone beat me before something really bad happens.
This is a great song to sing to, which should be done at the top of the lungs.
I went out and about today in the snow, then rain, then snow, then rain. Nature is indecisive. So am I. Places hold memories - I think this is accepted as fact. So do songs. Objects. Actions. Sounds. I guess everything does but a memory itself. And even that could be said too - a memory of a memory - something you used to know. So how do I forget? If I don't walk them enough, will the neural pathways grow over until I walk right by the spot in the woods where there used to be a path? It's easy to get lost in the woods, especially at night. And what is the neural equivalent of forest growth. Is it not me that's keeping the growth back by walking the same paths, but the forest animals inside my brain. This metaphor has gone too far, but I like the idea of an ecosystem up there. "Ecosystem" implies I don't have full control, that my actions and reactions have unpredictable results.
A much lighter forest than the one I imagine exists in my brain.
Yes, that was about Bud. Stupid house I have to walk by on my way to my old internship reminded me.

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