Friday, November 16, 2012

Outside and inside; alone and together

I had the day off from my temp job. Only Monday and Tuesday left. It made me sleep like an adult. Sleeping in means 8:30am. I get tired every night at 8pm. Shaking my head...

I now fit into size 7 pants from the juniors section. Thank you exercise. Let's see, I started to get in shape back in April/May. I probably actually got in shape in June. And now it's mid-November. That's five and a half months of being in shape. I think the last time I was in shape for this long was back in high school for indoor and outdoor track. I'm proud of myself, especially for summoning up that willpower to go to the gym after work. I don't like the cold, but once I'm in the car I'm ready, and I'm never sorry once I'm there. I love running in the park, but there's something about working out surrounded by strangers that forces me to try harder. Competitiveness. Peer pressure. The possibility of meeting a hot guy who works out.
I fought it, but I'm starting to see Ryan Gosling's appeal.
I like to be alone, but I also like to have people to go back to when I'm done being alone. I like steady worlds. Outside is always steady, the trees, the gravel, fallen leaves, the sun blinding me from across the lake. It's inside, I still need to find the steadiness. And I think that by steadiness I mean people, relationships I can count on. Outside of family, I don't have many stable local relationships. I have some great friends, ...who are spread across the country.

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