Sunday, June 22, 2014

sheldon, but he cared

The heat wave is over and I don't know what's going on. My laptop has a huge tendency to overhead whenever it's on now. The keys feel hot. One day it's just going to melt.  MW started her new job and has moved into her new apartment. MC is forced to start over after breaking up with her fiance. AC is flying back to the states right now, or maybe she's on her layover. Unless my brother springs a girl out of nowhere, my middle sister is looking like the likeliest to be in an actual relationship. Somehow I'm talking to SC again but not really because I keep trying to force myself to be more attracted to him. It has nothing to do with him and more with the reality that I just don't feel surface attracted to that many people, so why not him.  Apparently I have to have
1)visual chemistry
2)perceived value
3)perceived challenge
And out of all these things me towards him I'll give him a one and a half.

I watched the last half of the saddest movie - The Normal Heart(2014) made for HBO. It's about the beginning of the AIDS epidemic in the early 1980s. That's an era I admit I haven't empathized much with in the past because I was taught about AIDS in elementary school and I wasn't born when it all went down. Just the number of AIDS deaths by the time I was born was staggering to learn. Oh by the end of the movie I was reduced to tears of regret and I was also selfishly thankful that all the gay men I know now weren't born back then. Yes, today HIV/AIDS are strong but at least we know why. I don't think the movie even went into transmission by blood transfusions and needles, but I only watched the last half. It reminded me that I've watched Jim Parsons as Sheldon for way too long b/c I found him adorable in that movie. He was Sheldon but he cared about people.

What do I hope for now? That I meet people and make friends to hang out with on the weekends. Severely lacking in friends to hang out with on the weekends. Also, to be able to get up in the morning and go to work and be challenged at work enough so that I am not bored. Well, not inspired to sleep every chance I get. I do wish I was asleep right now. And that I could meet some single and as attractive to me as Lee Min-ho was in Faith.

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