Thursday, February 19, 2015

late to the Lent party (not Catholic anyway and you can't make me convert)

I said I'd apply for this job tonight, but I don't have the password. It's at work. Going to have to apply during my lunch break. Ha! Like I'm going to get one of those at the rate things have been going this week. Today I only had time to choke down some chicken soup and then I took one bite of my string cheese and had to put it down for a phone call. What would B say? She would have said to let the phone ring. I should have done that, but I feel compelled to answer since I'm the only one doing any of the budget stuff. So it's scary to apply for another job when the office I'm in now is in such a tumultuous stage. Anyway. Trying to rework this resume but soon I'll give up and go to sleep.

So tired. Going to set my alarm for 7am since that's when I'll get out of bed anyway. I've had to up the biotin because it's so dry, but that's fine because the bottle says I could take 5 a day if I wanted. One has been enough, so I only upped it to 2. There's no reason for me to develop an intolerance to it and have to take even more.

On my immediate shopping list (besides the ever-present food) is: black socks. My shoes require them and I don't have them. My feet are always cold. I think the heater stopped working for the lower heat - you know how you can direct it to your feet? Yeah, when I do that I just get cold air, so I've stopped bothering. Basically from the moment I leave my apartment in the morning, that's when my feet are cold. In the car my hands ache because of the steering wheel. How are the homeless people doing this? I hope they're able to get to a shelter where they're warm and safe.

Lent has started without me realizing. I'm not Catholic, but I'm some weird kind of Methodist that does Lent every year. It's only day 2. What can I do to exercise restraint that isn't foregoing hot water for 40 days? That just isn't happening. How does that not make a person sick? I could do the thing I did one year and not watch tv unless I'm hula hooping. I could give up dramas, but that wouldn't be a super hard challenge as I'm not addicted to any right now. I'm still working on my New Year's resolutions, but I can't do the swim one yet anyway. What was the other? Oh yeah, okc. I don't know how I've gotten so messed up, but for a long while now the people I find most attractive are similar to me in terms of background, ideology, priorities, etc. All these okc people who aren't at least an 80% match, well I believe in numbers and don't bother to respond. And then there's the ones you just stay away from because your momma told you and so did your friends and then that was your experience too.

I want to be warm again. I have to steel myself when it's time to go outside. Not cool.

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