pain, so i vow

For no good reason, my right shoulder hurt all day. I'm talking pain, not ache. So bad I had to take ibuprofen and now I know why people get hooked on pain medication. I only hope it's better in the morning.

I vow for the entire week to put no sugar in my tea. I am also not allowed to watch dramas unless I've written a page or read 30 pages.

Tomorrow I'm going to try some different crock pot food. We'll see what happens with lentils, tomatoes, and chicken.

bunch of crock pot food

Yesterday I bought a crock pot from walmart for $15.92. This morning I put in the random food I had in the order the crock pot company said I should. Then I put it on Low and went to work. I confess I worried off and on all day that the crock pot would malfunction and set the apartment on fire. When I got near Rt1 I was relieved not to see smoke billowing up over the trees. So yeah, basically when I walked in the pot lit was doing that thing lids do when there's pressure built up underneath, so rattling basically. I came in and turned the crock pot off. It did make the whole apartment smell like food. It's a little weird because I used these ingredients:

1 can condensed mushroom soup
4 red potatoes, cut into chunks
1/2 a green pepper
1 pack of chicken breasts, cut into chunks
thyme dumped on top
salt
pepper
water

The food cooked perfectly and nicely, but I think I needed a bit more water because there were a couple too dark potatoes and the meat on top was a bit dry. It also needed more salt. Maybe I needed to come back sooner? It cooked for 9 hours because I stopped at the grocery store on the way home. Anyway, it was good enough that I stuffed myself with at least 2 servings in a big bowl. Then I put away the leftovers into microwavable dishes. So I've got lunch for Monday already, plus 1 meal each for Sat/Sun. I look forward to experimenting. I need to put in more veggies next time, but I think this is the start of me eating a lot better than I have since I moved in.

i don't feel permanent

I watched the first episode of "It's Okay, That's Love," a Kdrama that's actually been on for a few weeks. I think next week is it's last week if it's a 16 episode show. The reviews that I've read on dramabeans were a little mixed, so I didn't start it before, but I think the consensus is that it's worth my time, so it's now on my Watching list. The only other thing on that list is Joseon Gunman, which has become a little less exciting as the episodes go on, but I'll still finish while doing my hair or something.

Had one of those long meetings today, which make the work day go by super fast. And then I got a bonus check for winning those awards last month! So yay, when that comes in the next pay period I won't have to worry about maybe moving funds from savings to pay the bills. I'm trying to make my attitude about money be more holistic, as in I think lifetime rather than month-to-month. That may mean that I have to move somewhere else when my lease is up because this place is a great central location, but the rent keeps creeping up, and I now live in a non-rent-controlled state. Does this mean I need to save money in the 401(k) to use to buy a house? I don't feel that permanent yet though, what with the PhD thing not laid to rest. Should I just do it?

Stroke Update - Last weekend I went home so I could see Nana. I'm talking I woke up at work time on Saturday, so I was heading up 95 by 7:22am. I was north of Baltimore by 8am, the time when I'm normally just getting to work. Traffic is crazy, peeps. So I got home and Mom and my middle sister were just getting up. Heck, even Darcy was just uncurling from her rug. Turns out she rejected the pillows I gave her, but is all for bathroom rugs. Anyway, Aunt Shauna came over and then Mom drove to visit Nana. Pop went over to 913 to help Poppi put in a mailbox. When we got to Nana's room she was sitting up in the wheelchair like normal. It shocked everyone I think. For a moment I thought she was cured. But as we were there she started to lose her energy. And by the time Michelle tried to help her choose her meals for the next day, Nana was confused again and hear head progressively lowered. We got to watch as she ate lunch though - she had solid foods, but not too solid as she's still having swallowing problems. Mom says that her insurance is going to run out, so they have to send her home. Mom had a meeting with the doctor on Monday, but I don't know how it went since when I called no one was home. I guess I can ask my middle sister.

My brother hopped a train to FL and my parents keep telling me (in a very laidback way) to make sure he's still alive. I think they're worried, but they're not going to say they're worried. And I get it. I mean, the only money he has is the security deposit from moving out of his apartment. He only got to FL because my dad bought him and his car a train ticket. Mom says I was born with my hands in fists and he was born with his hands wide open. If that means anything, I save money and he spends it. Example, yes I got that bonus check, but I have no plans to buy anything. I don't have anything I want to buy, except I know I'm going to have to buy a new laptop in the next year or so and a new cell phone when the one I have craps out. My brother buys people things and gives people the expensive things he bought but doesn't want to use any more because he wants to use some other thing. I think I could use a little more generosity and he could use a little more selfishness. My middle sister spends and saves, so she's perfect. My youngest sister is just like my brother. Looks both of them are going to need someone to reign them in from spending when they start earning a lot of money. Budget.

My apt is putting new siding on my building and it looks awful because first they rip off all the old siding. They started on the edge of my building and haven't made it to my actual apartment yet, but I'm not going to like it when they do. I foresee a lot of awkward conversations with random men in hardhats in my future. I hope they're attractive men in hard hats.

yeah my mama she told me don't worry...

May have a problem. I know I have to cook so I can eat. I don't feel like cooking, so I'd rather go to bed hungry. That's what I did last night. Can't today - I need to cheer for myself! I need to be motivated to cook the tomatoes my grandfather gave me from his garden. He grew them himself, ya'll.

from MD, not PA, but close enough

Meghan Trainor's All About that Bass song is stuck in my head. I really haven't listened to the radio much this summer, so I don't know the new songs. Somehow I picked up this one though.

Praying for my nana.

live well

Nana is doing a lot worse than I thought. I didn't know what a stroke could do to someone. And everyone at the rehab facility has been hit in a different way. Why does my nana seem the worst off? It's so hard to leave her there after visiting. I was upset, I had indigestion and she asked me if my stomach hurt. That felt so good. She didn't talk before unless you ask, but she'll sing a song she knows with you. Her skin is so soft and she's so frail. She can hold a glass and drink from it though. Before going I told myself the stroke wasn't that bad, that she'd be almost back to normal by the time I saw her, but I was wrong. When I first hugged her, I started crying and got her sweatshirt all wet. It's cold there. I need to go see her again this weekend. I can't leave her there all alone, even if all I can do is hover uselessly. My mom visits every day she can except for Tuesdays.

I also saw my brother, who is going to take the train to FL, along with his car. Didn't know you could pay for that, but you can. I won't see him again until maybe October. But that's not very far away. I hope he doesn't injure himself playing basketball and lives well.

I discovered the secret to perfect chocolate milk made with syrup. It's half and half.