ache break heart

My feet hurt so much from running. I can't take it anymore. Tomorrow, I'll do the baby run of 2 miles. But Wednesday I'lll skip the run and go to the running shoes store after work. Your feet aren't supposed to be fine in heels all day UNTIL you put them into your running shoes, when they start to ache.

This is a guy's shirt, but I'd wear it.

I was invited to B's graduation party at the end of May. I have to go. Yeah. So I went online to RSVP, and found out that Bud had. At this point I just never want to see him again because it's easier that way. Can I be happily dating someone else by then?

i popped some tags

Got lost this weekend, but not seriously. I wound up in a business park on the weekend. Pretty, but uneventful. I found the closest Goodwill and picked up some books and spoons. This Goodwill is more expensive than the one in Roanoke or the one near my parents' house. And the girl who checked me out can only be described as surly, but I will say that the book section was the most organized I've ever seen at a thrift store, and I've done a lot of thrift shopping; yes, even before I first heard the Macklemore song back in November.

For the first time in my life, I have real income. It feels almost like when I got my first part-time job back in 2003, only back then I had no bills. There was no reality check, so I'd go to the mall and spend money on clothes. Today I spent time checking out home furnishing stuff. Most of the other customers were young couples. I guess people with mucho dinero don't bother checking out Pier 1.

When I talked with AS on the phone before Easter he told me he was going to a conference with Bud this weekend. Why do people feel the need to tell me? I honestly just wonder why. I will never throw other people's exes in their faces ever again. It holds them back. While on the topic of guys, AB is such a jerk - don't be randomly nice to me if you only want to make sure I don't forget you exist. Just let me forget.

I wanted to see Jurassic Park in 3D with my siblings, but my brother is having trouble getting leave, my sissy is getting reading to fly to Thailand, and my other sissy is in Japan until the end of April. I am almsot sibling-less. It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Puppies are cute.

should be entertaining

I finally drank the nonalcoholic ginger beer. Serious stuff. It burns. I love it. It comes in a brown bottle, just like a real beer. For weeks in my head I've been promising myself vodka and orange juice. Tomorrow is the day I buy the vodka. It's also the day I find the Goodwill and Home Goods (I'm in search of a TV stand).

Out of nowhere, AB emailed me after 1,2,3, no 4 months of no communication. Never thought I'd talk to him again. Can we date? Sigh - it's not even him. I really enjoy my own apartment. I don't need to live with anyone right now. I just want a local friend.

I ran again today, with just the girls. I don't understand women who can't get along with other women. Other women are vital to staying sane. I felt leg strain while running; if I don't get new running shoes, I'll probably get shin splints. My shins feel very tight this week. But I need to last until the work-sponsored "Fun Run" in mid-April! It's only 2 miles. Should be entertaining. Then I'll just do the gravel trail all the time. It's 3 miles, challenging hills, and shade, which is key for the coming summer heat. Good conditioning. :-)

11 flights

My poppi is home! He's on antibiotics for the pneumonia and has a rough recovery ahead of him, but he's going to recover. I'm so relieved. We're all so relieved. I called home and Mom sounded a little more like herself. She said the dog is sticking to him and protecting him. The dog is a 160+ pound mastiff.

I surprised myself and ran with the group again today. I rarely run two days in a row, mostly to prevent my shin splints from coming back. But I dunno. Last night, I felt like I needed to run again and when I woke up, I still felt that way. So I did. I'm glad, because I ran with CK, CH, and L, which was a different dynamic. More comfortable, since I've known CK off-and-on for 3 years now. I really enjoy how bright and talkative she is, and she's super happy lately. It shows. She's glowing these days. So jealous! But jealous with a smile. Only one of my close friends, AK, has that same kind of visible spark. After the 2 miles, CH and L took me to the stairs. 11 flights. Two at a time. I made it to the 6th floor before I felt it. Then I kind of hopped to the 9th. And then I basically walked up the rest. Looking down from 11 flights, it felt like I was in a movie. So cool. On rainy days, they do 3 sets. Well I like a challenge.

My feet hurt, but I feel much better today. Running is the best therapy.

some kind of fog

I've called home every day since I got back to my apartment and the news about my poppi is good. He might be getting out of he hospital as I type. My dad didn't know. But one of my aunt's is going to stay with my grandparents for a few days, so that's a good sign. I just... You don't know how much begging I did. I guess it's called praying. And here I am crying again, in some kind of fog. Fog because I have to hold it in for hours at work, try to function, although even strangers can read me like a book.

Did the running group thing. 6 of us set out, but I dropped off halfway through and only ran 3 miles. I need to eat differently - I felt weak at the beginning of the run, which featured another killer hill that I didn't make it up without walking. And to think on Hibernia runs I start out with a hill a half mile long and I'm fine. I'm a total hill conqueror there.

Feeling insecure. Going to drown my self in fiction.