hair story, Healer, he stands

Just did my hair. I have to say, dating means that I feel the need to have it look nice now, and that means I have to do it once a week because it's so dry these days. I'm up to using 5 different products to get my hair under control via twist out: Palmolive coconut shampoo, Jane Carter conditioner, then Milk Protein & Olive Oil Strengthening Creme mixed with Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie, and then Jane Carter Solution to seal the ends. The whole process from wash to the end of air drying takes about 3 hours. Today I watched a couple episodes of a Japanese drama in which a woman starts dating a 21 year old college student on her 30th birthday. To be fair, the kid is in love with her, so the main conflict comes from herself because she's never had a boyfriend before. Strangely enough, sex is never an issue, which is directly opposite to this novel called Eleven Minutes that I started yesterday and finished today. That book was basically a meditation on sex and prostitutes, but somehow still idealized. I wasn't a huge fan.

Anyway, I can't figure this specific guy out, but you can't really figure someone out when you haven't known them for a month yet. And after I said I was done with white guys, here comes number four. This would all be solved if I could just date Healer. Okay, so I don't mean that, but the man is gorgeous. Yes, I never cared about the actor in that Hero drama, and at first I didn't even see his pretty in Healer, but somewhere around the 7th episode, it clicked. Maybe it's just the role. I didn't think much about Jung Kyung-ho until he played Baksa Adeul in Heartless City. Now I just lust after him in every role in which he wears a suit. Very specific criteria, I know. He has a tendency to play roles in which I can't take him seriously, and at those times I lose all respect for him. So comedy is not his thing.

So why did I say I can't figure him out? Well is it worth not dating anyone else? Because I'm not. I can really only concentrate on one person at a time. And by 'concentrate' I mean think about when I'm not living the life I lived without dating. Now that SC is clear where he stands, he doesn't feel the need to text every day. He should just find somebody else, but he whines that it's hard. Well of course it's hard or you wouldn't appreciate when you finally do find someone who wants to find you too. If this new guy is the one I want that would be nice to stop all this looking, but I don't have many illusions. If it hasn't happened in however many years, what are the chances that trend is going to change? Oh pessimism. But never fear. This is my confession blog. I'm going to rally and keep trying. I can't do anything else but keep trying.