I debate self-body-shaming and Joo-won's increasing appeal

So I actually cooked today and am enjoying all this warm food. I made the best hard boiled eggs I've ever made. I love biting into them when they're warm. I had two. Yuuuum.  And then I made lentils in chicken broth and rice to go with it. And now I'm having seconds. Now this isn't unhealthy food, but I feel really greedy having seconds because I'm so full. I'm mostly full because I also drank 2 cups of tea and a glass of water. So as I was spooning the lentils into my bowl, I laughed and said, "This is why you're fat." Is it healthy to say that, or do I have body image issues? Of course I have body image issues. For the record, I'm not fat, but I used to be overweight. About 25 pounds over weight. Anyway, I lost the weight and it's been kept off for over 2 years. Honestly, the only way it's coming back is if I get pregnant, because I changed the way I eat. That means I'm not on a diet, I just made new habits. Also it took me 5 years to gain 25 pounds, so one meal isn't going to do much. It then took me 3 to lose it. Fair. Anyway, I'm super conscious about what I put into my body and I don't have to track my food anymore, like I did religiously for the first year. So, I'm not fat. Why did I say that to myself, then? People who I haven't seen in a while comment that I've lost weight even since I started my desk job.

Watching Cantabile Tomorrow, 10th episode. This is my third Joo-won drama. And now for some reason I love him? When did that happen? Granted, he was hard to love in Gaksitaaaaaal. All my Gaksital love went to Park Ki-woong. But I did love him and Uee as a couple in Ojakgyo Brothers. There it was more about Uee though.

I am of course the blonde in this scenario.

When did Joo-won get so cute?