a dangerous business

I was cold and lazy, so I didn't go out for New Year's Eve. Instead I spent it warm in front of the television. Is this more or less adult-like than last year? I didn't feel like a bar, but next year I'll try a house party. Maybe I'll even throw it.  Writing essays for those PhD programs. After I've applied to them all, I'll go back to temping full-time and by the end of March, I'll know what my choices are. If I don't make it into any PhD programs, or if I can't afford to go, I'll just reapply myself to full-time job searching. We'll see, is all I can say. I need to remember that life post-school seems to be wavering around, figuring out what it is you want.

Did I ever tell you flowers make me happy?

Thinking of the family of some local kids that were hurt last night (car accident on rt. 202), since one of my sisters knew them in high school. I can't imagine what it is to accidentally cause someone else's death, whether that person is friend or stranger. Is friend or stranger worse when you're staring at their family? If I've ever met anyone this happened to, they never told me, but many a fictional character has carried such monumental guilt. The fact that there's nothing you can do to make it right intensifies your feelings. I don't know how I'd cope. I'm lucky so far to go through life with average worries, with middle class worries. And guys, Philly is a mean city. What they say is true- It's a dangerous business, ... going out your door.

When the weather warms up a little, I'm going to train with a friend to run a 10K. I wouldn't do it on my own because training isn't as fun as simply running, but with someone, I think training would be fun.

Oh weather, please warm up soon.