Evening running

On an endorphin high again. Summer turned me into an evening runner (or, I was too lazy to wake up before it got hot). There's nothing like a sunset. Purple clouds, the orange light you can see through the trees. It's one of the few times you can see light as physical, as really being made up of whatever particles science says it's made up of. Since it's not as hot outside, I ran the northern part of the park, which I avoided during the rest of the summer because there's no shade. Yes to exploring new paths and hoping they add up to 4 miles.

I think this is the beginning of the hill trail I run up. I swear it gets steeper just after that curve.

Thunderstorms in the morning and afternoon left the evening air the most humid it's been on my run so far this year. The back of my shirt was literally soaked - I scared myself when I looked in the mirror. I should have known the humidity was bad when I had to pee in the middle of the run and my underwear did that twist-cling thing that makes you really not want to pull it back up, but you have to because you just peed in a park bathroom, meaning into a hole, and there are spiderwebs everywhere and the stall door didn't shut because someone broke it, so you're left hoping no one else has to pee and also that spiders don't fall into your hair. I am much bigger than any spider, but I am also physically disgusted by spiders, a disgust which manifests as fear. I peed successfully today. As I left the bathroom (okay, outhouse), I heard a mysterious electronic beep from the stall next to me, which I imagined was the text message alert from the phone in the pocket of the body of the woman who was murdered and left in the stall next to me for a jogger to find. A jogger like me. I was too scared by the beep to make sure there wasn't actually a body, so I ran away under the pretense of continuing my run. It was just my imagination (once again), running away with me...

When I got back to the car, the girl who'd finished her run as soon as I parked was still stretching. This was over 1 hour later. How long does it take? Am I doing something wrong? I know it was her because I saw maybe 8 people the entire time and she was the only other young one.

I love this park. When I was in the beginning pain of post-breakup angst, places where I'd been with Bud were painful: campus, one particular block of a street on my way to an internship, heck, a whole 3mile section of highway. But even though I did take him to the park a couple times, even though I showed him my favorite spot and tried to teach him tree names and sat with him on the railing of a bridge over Brandywine Creek even though I was scared of falling, the park has never been painful. It was there before and after and during. I have my best thoughts there, my clearest mind. Running in that park saves me.