Happy Birthday Month

Farewell to the greatest month of the year - October! I love you birthday month.

Here's to hoping I'll be in an excellent place this time next year, just like this time around :-).

why are you dressed so scary?

I had a grand total of 4 trick-or-treaters. Wow. And here I went and bought 2 bags of candy. I should have given those last two boys all I had left - but how was I supposed to know they were the last ones?

2 brothers came up to the door first. 7 or 8. I said they could take what they wanted. The skinny one on the left grabbed three handfuls. His brother didn't even try to stop him - just smiled and said he was a candy addict. Yeah, he was greedy. Then their mom came along and the greedy boy ran away. I let the normal kid grab his handful. Like 30 seconds after them, the second pair of boys came and I thought more kids might be coming, so I gave them handfuls. At that point, I had half the candy left. Then no more kids came. Halloween fail.

Another Halloween fail.

Also, I didn't go to LN's wedding because of the plans with S. Hoping I made the right choice. Friends are so much easier than dating.

smells like flavor

Had fun at my first official bachelorette party! (And how dare Google think that bachelorette isn't a word) There were party favors, so I currently have more penis shaped things in my apartment than I did before. (Yes even a straw) I met a 7 people all in one night - crazy fast. I swear I don't make much of an impression at these things, but I enjoy getting out there, and LN laughed when she opened her presents - candy underwear - so what more can I ask for? I thought I'd have to go to a sex shop, but they had all the stuff I needed right at Spencer's, which I found out after I googled where to buy candy underwear.

Went to the Melting Pot for the first time. Smells like flavor from the moment you walk in. The food was good, but wow my stuff still smells like it. And even my hair. I have natural black hair, so hoping it'll hair out because I just did my hair! (I'd whine if I said that out loud)

S asked me if we could ever be official. I had to slow his roll. (Was that cruel?) We had one in person conversation since we started talking in ... when was that? Late July. Where's the fire, son? Debating whether it's pessimistic to tag all the relationship posts with "breaking up is hard to do." I mean, it's true.

Woke up at 6am and have been awake ever since. Why???

baaaby bottle pop! baby bottle pop!

I've had one of those days where I had no time to myself until 9:30pm. And I get ready for bed at 10 people. Well, I guess the time spent commuting will have to count as me-time. I feel very accomplished.

Talked with my friend over the phone, she's a new mother. Wow, the patience that takes. I'm impressed every day.

Played volleyball for a little, just enough to know my serve is still there. My hand hurts. Who knew, but volleyballs are softer in warm weather. Can we get a repeat of the first days of October when it was 80 outside?

the baby bottle pop commercial song is stuck in my head

pretty enough to get by

Real quick, I finally went on a run again. A really slow one at work with LN, but a good one b/c I don't think my body is capable of being treated any better than gingerly right now. 28=not growing anymore, just maintaining. I've got all those great post-run feels. Endorphins, making me all happy and such.

Shout out to one of my favorite fashion blogs, karlascloset.com. Karla is just so elegant. There is such a thing as poise, and she's got it. Try as I might, I come off as more cutesy than sexy. The answer must be more makeup!

makes you pretty enough to get by...

Also, what have I done with S? I said I like you, as in I like you as a person. He knows that's what I mean right? Right? I also meant more I think I like you, but I can't really tell because I haven't had many conversations with you. At least it got him to stop beating around the bush and just call it a date? Everyone knows what the term "hang out" means, people.

What should I get L for her bachelorette party? Hmmm.

tea eggs, second lead love

I tried to make these:

Chinese tea eggs

In dramas, characters are forever eating them and loving them. I first saw them in a TW drama where the main lead's grandfather owned a convenience store. They pop up in Kdramas whenever the characters go to the sauna. My tea eggs look like that, but I tried one and it didn't taste like much. So I added more anise, soy sauce, brown sugar, and salt - going to soak them overnight, like MW said. We'll see.

SC said something about caring about me. I was still thrown off by when we met at that bar and I swore he said his boyfriend teaches Latin. Let me tell you, that threw me for a loop. I should have said "I'm sorry what?" Instead I was so shocked that I let him keep talking, and now I'm going to have to get that clarified in a subtle way. Why did that place have to be so noisy?

Started watching the Kdrama "Two Weeks," mostly because I haven't heard anything bad about it and after all these years of watching dramas Lee Jun-ki is the first of only three actors that was interesting enough for me to develop second lead love. The second was Song Jong-ho in The Princess' Man, and my case was much more severe with him. The crazier he got, the more I loved him. The third was Namgoong Min in Can You Hear My Heart, whose character was also crazy and which also made me love him more. He just loved his mom, okay?!

drank up all the water, ate up all the soap...

I got a giant bouquet of flowers and a belated birthday card at work. They're beautiful. There's no way for me to really transport the flowers home, so I just brought back the 3 wilting ones. I hope the lilies will bloom over the weekend. Nothing like the smell of flowers perfuming your work desk.

My right arm hurt again. Not as bad, but it started as I was leaving the house and didn't go away for about 5 hours. Physical time. I can't count how many times I said ow today.

Tired, so I'm just going to curl up in bed with a book and then fall asleep. It's no easy feat going back to work after two weeks off.

i drank all the milk in the house

be calm like the ocean

My first full day of being 28, I went back to work for a half day. Yay! It was nice to feel purposeful again. Signed up for the 2mile fun run in 2 weeks. Saw a bunch of people. We were all relaxed from our mandatory vacation, so you know, it was kind of nice.  8 hours tomorrow - I can do it, especially since it's casual Friday.

Had Olive Garden with AC, who always calls me on my bs. She said I need to figure out what I want. First step - how much do people who have PhDs earn? Is it my dream job to have a PhD and do research, or do I want to wander around in the woods with  a purpose? Concerning S, I also need to figure out what I want. If I cared about him, then the distance wouldn't matter. It's true; half the time I think I'm open to a relationship, and the other half I just want to be alone. This is likely because it takes me a long time to get over relationships and I don't want to go through getting over another one.

be calm like the ocean

it's my new year's eve, people. reflect. resolve.

It's my new year's eve. Time to reflect on everything that's happened this past year and make some resolutions.

Reflection: Since this day last year, I've gotten my first full-time job and moved out of my parents' house. I've gotten over Bud and now enjoy being by myself, although who knew the S thing would develop into something with emotional dependence (or is it just my pride?). I joined a running group. I kept old friends and made new acquaintances. I applied to PhD programs and got into 2 with full funding. I stayed a size 6 pant and M/L top (thank you large chest). I took a chance on a stranger, even if it failed. I have a good relationship with my parents and my sisters, although I wish I was closer to my brother. I spontaneously visited Ebonye and Andre in San Francisco. I found the perfect white t-shirt, which turned out to be a men's Hanes v-neck tee size S.

In this moment of my life, I'm watching these dramas: Just You (2013 TW), Heartless City (2013 K), Padam Padam (2011 K), and Tatta Hitotsu no Koi (2006 J). Just You is fun fluff addiction and I completely didn't expect to love it, but love it I do, along with the main leads: Aaron Yan, Puff Guo, and Dean Fujioka. Heartless City will end in tears, but along the way I'll ogle Baksa Adeul. The other two dramas, I may actually never finish because they've entered the sad arc.  I have all this time to watch dramas, thanks to the gov't shutdown, although I've been able to telework.

Resolutions: Cherish my family. Make a PhD decision - is it time to stop my formal education here? Don't get too comfortable where I am, both physically and mentally. Keep in touch with the friends who matter, let the others go. Stay active and never forget that I like to run, both alone and with other people. Learn Korean with those workbooks. Keep reading. Start writing again. Stop trying to remain always in control of my emotions. Enjoy fall instead of thinking about impending winter.

Happy New Year's!

just hold on

I don't know why, but I love this song. Haven't loved a Drake song in a really long time.

I've never seen the music video, but here it is! Should I buy his cd based off of my love for only this song? I have his Take Care cd and I'm not a huge fan, but I barely ever listened to it. Still, I find myself paying attention to him because he looks sad too often.

What is that desire to change someone? Wow, they won't change. I need to remember that. Hardcore I need to remember that.

lantern lantern on the bough

I'm ambivalent. I met S in person in West Chester last night. Not for that long, and just at the bar in Iron Hill. Probably the 4th time I've been to Iron Hill, though I've been driving by that restaurant since I was in high school. Anyway, the football game was on, so it was a little weird, but I don't know, not as bad as it could have gone. He's taller than I remember, which is good for my height obsession. He didn't walk me to my car afterwards, which always bugs me, but he did text me afterwards to ask if I got home alright. I think in general, it's a little weird meeting up with old classmates because they tend to talk about how things were in school, when I want to talk about now. But S wasn't nearly as bad as when I met up with SH back in April-ish, ugh, all he talked about was what happened in undergrad, most of which I don't even remember anymore. When I catch up with someone, I want to talk about what's happened since I last saw you - not what I already know. Anyway, I still doubt much is going to happen since S lives so far away and is going to work in NJ, but I guess I won't count it out.

Saturday was my joint b-day party and it was extra special because not only was my C-ville family there,  but so were P (family friend at this point), and K and D.  Aunt S made her special pancakes, which were gone the next day. And the men had fun drinking on the porch. My sister MB made us both glass pumpkins with our first names on them. We watched Marvel comic movies. And played Dance Central. I am really bad at Dance Central and I had no shorts except ones that Mom gave me, which were XXL Ralph Lauren swishy shorts - possibly the most unflattering shorts I have ever worn. Then Sunday MW and I went clothes shopping with our birthday money at Kohls, where I bought 4 Lauren Conrad pieces and one chambray shirt that I already have but in a different wash - all for $37.

If I could only wear one designer for the rest of my life, it would be Lauren Conrad.

i would have gone back tonight

The day came to set up my online bill pay for the end of the month... painful. Thank you shutdown, for leaving me with $700 in my checking account. I need to go back to work! But A, you did start teleworking. Yeah, but this next paycheck is going to be sooo tiny. Ugh.

Anyway, tomorrow is my joint birthday party with my sister. I would have gone back tonight, but it's been pouring rain for the past 2 days, and I prefer a daylight setting to go with my hydroplaning. Plus, the bed in my apt is really nice.

You know, makeup is a real miracle.

I just want to meet S, so that I can know if we could ever be friends. I don't like just texting, you stupid head. Sigh!

trees in the rain

I got permission to telework, so I put in 8 hours! So relieved. And also, I forgot what 8 hours was like. At first it's interminable, but by the time you only have an hour and a half left, you're all - what, only an hour and a half? I do so enjoy being able to pay my bills, and the commute is to die for. Today is the first time I used my guest room/office as an office. Joy! Since the files I worked on are number heavy, I was able to listen to about 6 CDs today. I never have been able to listen to music while doing anything that involves words - the lyrics get in the way.

It poured all day, reminding me how much I love trees in the rain, and the slight tilt towards fall colors makes the trees outside my window beautiful.

I briefly went outside to take the trash out and move my car from beneath the trees. There was a dead kitten in the parking lot, right by my rear tire. So sad. When I looked out the window later, it was gone. What is going on in that parking lot?

I cooked! My cooking style is to take a bunch of ingredients that are good for you and cook them in a big pot. Then I eat the concoction over rice. Today, that meant I added:

• smart Balance vegetable oil
• 1/2 lb ground turkey
• 1 green pepper (L's garden)
• 1 chili pepper (L's garden)
• 2 tomatoes (L's garden)
• 1 yam
• 4 small potatoes
• low sodium black beans
• 4 basil leaves
• 1 tsp salt
• Thai curry powder
• Jamaican style curry powder
• brown sugar

So full! Yum.

i know a bunch of property virgins

I've actually been active. Mini bonfire times last night in L's backyard. She's the only one of my friends to own property and she gets so much respect for that. I think my age group had a tough time starting out in terms of the job situation, thanks to the recession. It put us behind a little.

smores were also involved

This morning L came to my apt complex and we went for a run. I felt the need to explain all the empty bottles of alcohol littering my apt floor - I usually recycle them at work, but with no access to work, well it looks like I'm a raging alkie. Yes, I did drink that entire bottle of sangria by myself, but I had help for all the others! Anyway, as we were cooling down we saw a black SUV with all 4 of its tires slashed, parked maybe 5 cars over from mine. Do people really get so mad at someone else that they slash ALL the tires? Apparently the answer is yes.

I'm glad the run went well. I was scared that I can't run anymore, but if I just do it once or twice a week, I can still sustain my running addiction.

Drama update: watching Padam Padam, which is so far a show where the main couple dates and Kim Bum wanders around looking too skinny and too pretty. There's a villain who I don't take seriously; he kind of looks like Daniel Choi, only not as attractive. During all of his scenes I think about how the show would have been so much better if he was Daniel Choi.

evaluation is inevitable

Had a birthday dinner with AC last night -  we met halfway at a Thai place that was super quiet, but I guess it was Monday night. Good food, good times, and a cute waiter, which is pretty much all I ask from restaurants these days.

Today is my middle sister's 24th birthday. I'll have to call her after she gets home from work. I meant to text her during her birthday minute, but yeah it's now an hour and 20 minutes past that, hoping I remember tonight.

Trying my hardest not to regress into college student sleeping hours. Today I woke up on my own at 7:11am, so that's not bad. As long as I don't get used to waking up at 10am. Tomorrow is the last day I'll be paid before we go back to work. Seems like it's going to be dragged out until Oct 17th, so a serious bank account evaluation is inevitable, plus it's the time of the month where I set up the online bill pay. I live in fear of forgetting to pay the rent one day. It's crisp outside. I love summer, but I can't deny the joy of fall boot season, which bleeds into winter boot season and spring boot season. Soon, I'll have to say bye to the Nine West flats I've worn all summer in favor of shoes that require socks.

Ew, socks. My feet cry for freedom!

excuse me you're a hell of a guy -nm

I got to my parents' at about 2pm on Friday, and practically parked myself on their leather couch in front of their giant tv for the whole weekend. One of the highlights was a Tom Cruise movie called Oblivion, which came out early this summer and was entertaining. At least it took my mind away from the news. Good to spend time with my parents' again, and I talked to each of my sisters for a little, although they each weren't there. Back at my apt now, and in sore need of a shower. I love the hot weather so much that I refuse to put on air conditioning, then I sweat. I'd rather be hot than cold.

Verdict's out on whether it's back to work tomorrow or not, but I'll wake up at 6:15 and call the hotline.

Also, S cannot take a hint. I didn't really expect much, the trouble is he keeps slightly going above my expectations and then going lower and then meeting them and still contacting me...

too much coconut (day 4)

Heading up to my parents' - this whole week has felt like a bad weekend (except Annapolis), and now that the actual weekend is here, I need a change of scenery. 2 hours and I'll be watching tv on the big screen, bothered by Darcy, and most importantly somewhere else.

not Darcy, but puppies are so cute

Tried this coconut deep conditioner. I don't like it when my hair smells like coconut. Plus the conditioner was halfway to stripping my hair. Not a huge fan. I'll go back to the other one.  Checking for toll money, and hitting the road!

star of anise (day 2, day 3)

Day 2 I got on the road at 9:55am and drove the half an hour to M's house. Her mom served us fruit, nuts, yogurt, and tea. Delicious. Then we headed to Annapolis - the historic part, which reminded me a little of a more well kept West Chester, PA. Did a lot of walking, church-seeing, and finished it up with crab cake wraps and a little consignment shopping. I made it back home before rush hour traffic started and promptly fell asleep for two hours. The high was 87 - felt like summer! Thank you, October.

Annapolis: where George Washington gave his resignation speech.

Day 3 - aka today - I woke at 6:15, realized it was day 3, and went back to sleep. Didn't even get out of bed until 11. Without a schedule, I regress to college kid sleeping hours. I got out of the house for some unsuccessful grocery shopping (I left the list on the table and walked right out the door). I remembered 11 out of 18 things...  And where the heck do you buy star of anise?  I want to make Chinese tea eggs.

star of anise

During our skype conversation last weekend, M told me and AK how she makes tea eggs. I've watched people eat them in TW and K dramas for years, and all this time it never occurred to me that I could make them myself. And I currently have the time to experiment in the kitchen...

I'm contemplating heading up to PA if tomorrow turns out to be Day 4. Yeah, I'm heading up in a week anyway, but if I don't go somewhere, I'll go stir crazy. I need to dedicate myself to writing something today instead of laying around trying not to obsess over the news. That or try to make friends with my new neighbors who seem young - I think there's a girl.

shutdown day 1

Happy birthday month to me. The job situation is messed up as of midnight last night, but that has to sort itself out in the end, so I'm going to tell myself not to worry. I was home at 1pm. It felt so strange! At least the meetings about "maybe" are over now that the verdict is "yes." My dad says I should get in the car and go to the beach - he's the spender. My mom said what about gas - compromise - Annapolis? I've been meaning to go be a tourist anyway, and it's supposed to be gorgeous this week, as befits the first day of my birthday month.

If this goes on the whole week, maybe I can get together with some coworkers. We shall see. For now, I just want to eat a turkey burger. If only I didn't have to cook it first.