it's 90 every day and i love the parkway

Been forced to run/walk for the past couple days. Walk downhill, run flat or uphill. Then I come home and ice my knees. Working so far, but tomorrow will be a rest day. Have to drive up to PA again anyway. Hello bridge toll.

I heard there's a giant snapping turtle in one of the lakes at work and if you give him bread you will see him come up out of the water like Swamp Thing. Am I the only one who remembers the cartoon from 1991? It got cancelled real fast - I watched the reruns of the same 5 episodes.

So ugly he ruins my blog. But he's made of plants!! I love plants.

Talked with CK yesterday and told her about Memorial Day, seeing Bud. She asked if I saw him on purpose. If anyone did the purposing, it's him - BG is my friend. I liked it better when I was remembering all the same things and not new ones. I'd rather go in the other direction as in towards CH, but since I'm injured, have barely even seen him. Plus, I wouldn't have thought much about him in the first place if it wasn't for CK putting ideas in my head and the fact that I don't meet enough single guys in their 20s.

half an orange

The first thing to go when under stress is my appetite. Guess Bud still has some effect on me, but other than that, I've spent the day catching up on sleep. I need to make 8 hours a habit during the week.

Had half an orange for lunch.

the grad party beat all other grad parties

I did it. I went to BG's graduation party and had fun. Like in a TV reality series, BG's parents got her a car with bows on it and the works.  Her family is so awesome. I also talked to Bud for a long time. Looks like time heals all wounds, and yadda yadda yadda. I get that it wasn't meant to be. I'm surprised it doesn't hurt more, but glad. There's still the potential to mess myself up. I don't want to go through that again.

After the family party, people 21+ went to South Street in Philly. I went to high school about an hour away from Philly, but I never did make it to South Street after I turned 21. It's good to be in Yuengling land for Memorial Day weekend. And BG has all these 20-something cousins that all live around the Philly area, so they go out together. My family is spread around the country - I wish I could go out with my cousins on a regular basis. If wishes were horses...

As always in Philly, you can't go without mishaps (I got snippy in the parking lot, grid detours, lack of cash for a cover charge, gas station ineptitude, a sculpture that looked like Tamagotchi poo but was actually a giant blob of paint, etc.). I get stressed out in cities, but it's good for me. One can't be chill 24/7 - definitely not healthy. Anyway, good conversation, and good times meeting people. I wouldn't have missed this grad party for the world. Being in such a comfortable setting only proved to me that I need to make more friends near my apartment. I want a positive, fun, energetic social network.

Yeah, Philly!

last weekend (?)

I can walk fast(ish) again! I'm so happy. I don't think I dare risk running until Monday, but at least I'm healing. At least I can bend my knee without pain. I won't take walking for granted again. Walking downhill unfortunately still causes twinges of pain, so no walking fast. Yesterday I wasn't having a good time with my legs and the fact that I couldn't run, so I came home and went directly to sleep and when I woke up my leg felt better. I thought it would wear off, but it didn't. I picked up some work paraphanelia from the employee gift store for Mom, and while shopping I could concentrate on looking and not on the correct placement of my foot.  Before E has her baby, I need to buy her a onesie - it'll be so cute! I'm practically an aunt already. I'd go wild if I weren't on a budget :-).

Hope to be able to hit the trail soon.

It's my last weekend with Doop (the Toyota Yaris). I dread having my car back - so many trips to the gas station. With the Yaris, I filled it up twice in one and a half months. If only it didn't have to get inspected.

Listening to Lee Min-ho's charity album. He publicly admitted that he can't sing, but the music is pretty good. I've liked him since I developed an emotional dependency on his time-travel sageuk Faith. Yes, you can find me singing in Korean to my favorite song from the soundtrack. Before Faith, I'd watched 3 of his dramas and enjoyed them, but even the awesome of City Hunter never really translated into liking Lee Min-ho.

Mini-album cover

Since work was so crazy two weeks ago, I got to leave after 7 hours - yes to strolling out of there at 3:30. I actually went 55 on the parkway.

Turns out I'm driving the grad party girl to her own party. Yay for not having to worry about getting lost or what time to get there. Philly, here I come.

it's storming and so i'm wanderin'

It's been over 48 hours since I pulled whatever I pulled in my knee. I am so sad. I can't even walk without pain, so there's no question of running. After work, I came straight home, took out my contacts, and went to sleep at 5:30. I woke up three hours later, weak from lack of food, put some leftover pizza in the oven. Yes, the same pizza from over a week ago. Still eating it.

I talked with a random indie musician kid at work today. Oh the idealistic no responsibilities, fight the power type of guy. Talk to me in 3 years and if you haven't matured, you're a lost cause. I get the urge to fight "corporate America," but you need to accept the fact that there is a system and stop concentrating on rebellion. That's so selfish. I think many boys go through this phase - it's one giant red "I'm immature" flag.

Headed to my parents' for Memorial Day weekend. Goals - healing my knee, summer work clothes shopping only if Mom takes me, and groceries.

Heard this song on a car commercial, and I think she covered Aretha very well:

i've been wishing

My knee wasn't feeling 100% percent. I shouldn't have run 2 days in a row. Even if I did, I shouldn't have run the downhills.
.
.
.
But of course I did. The result? At the 1.8 mile mark, I stopped because we had to cross the road. Couldn't get started again. Had to walk. C and L came back for me. I walked back to my building, but I could already feel the twinges of pain in my right knee when walking downhill. I came home, showered, and put ice on it. I mostly dread waking up tomorrow.  I definitely can't run until Friday. And why risk injuring myself when I have to go to a party on Saturday? I'll walk 3 miles on Friday and see how it goes.

Sigh. Drinking sangria, watching TV, and doing laundry now.

I've been saying I need a roommate. And it might come true. Change is scary and I'd have to shape up around the house a bit, but I've been wishing, so why not?

The janitor kid is creeping on me. Twice, he's sort of whispered a compliment as I passed him in the hallway, but it's so quiet that I can't tell for sure. Should I be worried? 3 strikes and you're out, dude.

I found a quarter in the parking lot at work as I was limping to my car. Then I drove home, parked, and found a dime. What is God trying to tell me?

swings, snakes, sunblock: hush

Sunday I did some (more) thrift shopping. Goodwill > Village Thrift. For $24, I picked up a sugar bowl, a Corelle plate, 2 dresses, 1 skirt, and a book by Carol Shields. I'm still in on my pastel kick and trying to get clothes with prints. My other goal is to avoid getting a summer farmer's tan, caused by running in capsleeve t-shirts. Piling on the sunblock doesn't prevent tanning.

Ran today, just two people. We were hissed at by geese and saw a black snake crossing the road. Lots of nature for a work campus. We also swung on swings in the woods at the 1 mile mark. I felt sick after a while - so disappointing! The swings were my ish as a kid. Even now, whenever I see them, I am there.

Do I still have a crush on CH? I don't know. I might only want to have a crush. But I want a lot of things. I want a Sephora close to me. I want a better complexion. I want to chill with friends on a hot day over beer. I realize people join groups to connect with other people (I'm going to try softball tomorrow). Just who is it that we're all searching for?

the horror pizza

Today was the horror day at work. I knew it would be like this. Yeah, happy hour didn't happen. And I only got to run for like 6 minutes right before the gate closed. It's just as well - I need another rest day for my left knee especially. I started working at 8am and finished 6:30 = 2 extra hours. I didn't take a real lunch break. Basically 10 hours of staring at the computer, broken up by trips to the bathroom.

Of course I cracked when I got home ordered pizza. The best deal was 2 medium pizzas... so now I have way too much pizza. Hello lunch and dinner for the next week. I'm definitely going to gain weight now. And thanks to the pizza standards I got from Bud, I didn't even enjoy it much - not enough sauce.

Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me

Side note - I am still crushing on C, despite really trying not to. I don't think he's smooth enough to say the right thing the percentage of the time that he keeps saying the right thing.

James approves

I made a game plan at work today, so I was able to get done as much as I expected. I've become obsessed with bikes. Outside my building, there are two bicycles that anyone can use to ride anywhere on campus. I want to bike to building 1 and buy some organic sea salt chocolate. Unfortunately, I didn't try to until lunch, so all the bikes were taken. 200+ people work in my building, so it's no surprise. I will ride one of those bikes though. I will!

Instead of running ( since my knees feel like the horror today), I hopped on the parkway, No traffic because it was 4:30. Love love loved that. I went Village Thrift a few miles from my apt, which I can't believe I hadn't gone to yet. I wanted some pretty work shirts in light colors, but I came away with a pair of Ann Taylor Loft jean shorts ($5.90) and a gorgeous vase ($1.90). I'm a 4 in Loft pants/skirts, which I know because I have about 7 skirts from there. Not sure if I like Village Thrift store or the local Goodwill better.  I'll try my luck at the Goodwill later this week and hope the clothing prices are lower. Verdict forthcoming.

They are basically these shorts, which cost $39.50.

Today is the one year anniversary of me being in the same room as James Morrison. Yes, at his concert. What a good day that was last year.

James approves.

got to man up

At work, all was deceptively good until around 1:30pm. Stress! The email crush put me in such a pissy mood. I'll have to to run every day this week. How else am I going to get through it? So much for cute hair. I'll toss on a headband and call it a day.

The running group was all chatty, but I couldn't bring myself to speak much. When I'm trying to stop myself from ranting, I internalize. We're not exactly friends, so I can't just go unburdening my frustration on near strangers. Ugh. I'm so bored lately I drink vodka for kicks - I'm sure the alcohol's going straight to my waist. I need to stop, but I can't run 24/7, so what else do I do? This is why people need hobbies.

After running, I went back to work. For the first time, I dreaded walking in the door to my building. My feet dragged walking up to the 3rd floor. And then after putting in my time, I even felt like another quick run. If it hadn't been so cold, I would have.

Maybe it's time for retail therapy? But I won't because after I make it home and shower, I don't want to leave again. Let me just shower and sleep right now instead of trying to find another drama addiction.

I'm in real trepidation regarding BG's grad party. I know I'm going to be disappointed whatever happens. But how will I deal with it? I don't know. I need something to take my mind off it so I don't build it bigger and bigger. Please say it's not too late. For my own sanity, I must plan a quirky fun outfit tomorrow. I wore a cheetah print skirt today - love the cut of the skirt even if I felt self-conscious in the print. Man up, girl!

peppermint

Frustrated for no reason lately, so I run. I want to be outside, so I run. This may be because I don't have much else to do. I should be writing, but I lack inspiration, thankfully not like Vic Zhou's character in Wish To See You Again. Physically, Vic reminds me of Lee Jin-wook in Nine: Nine Time Travels. I think they're the same age too. Vic Zhou is higher on my list only because I've loved 2 of his dramas and only one of Lee Jin-wook's. Mars may be my #1 T-drama, despite Vic's horrible hair cut. Favorite J-dorama is Pride (2004).  I've seen too many K-dramas to have a favorite, but right now I find myself watching bits of Faith over and over, most likely because it was the drama I watched directly post-breakup. It's certainly not because of the plot, acting, production, or eye candy.

I've never gotten up the guts to drink a shot of anything before, so tonight I did. It really does burn.

My stomach won't stop hurting. I need some peppermint.

I need some friends.

I can only lol at myself.

and admit that Lee Jin-wook is hotter than Vic.

27 months

I finally got to run! CH was the only other runner. Thunderstorms made it impossible to run Tuesday and Wednesday, so I don't understand how people were not tripping over themselves to get out the door. I might run tomorrow too, although no one from the group does on Fridays. Today we went a little less than 3 miles because it started to downpour. We ran inside a building, but ugh - it was warm inside and the sweat was just... This is the only thing about the running group:  I have only seen these people while we're all in gym clothes and sweaty (except for one time). Not the most flattering... I bet they think I'm a total frump.

It's been months since I've gotten rained out of a run. It felt kind of good.  Of course a half hour later the sky was blue and the clouds were fluffy and there I was - stuck in traffic on the parkway.

A J M W Turner painting. I mostly love his stuff.

Found a free budget template. I have a steady income, but I just don't spend it. The template gives me saving goals. New (to me) car, here I come in 27 months!

thank you, Anne Tyler

Tuesday it poured.
Today it poured.

I didn't get to run.

AHhhh!  I need to.

Instead I came home, cooked surprisingly ornate meals for weeknights, and read "Amateur Marriage" by Anne Tyler. I consistently love Anne Tyler's novels, which are mostly set in Baltimore, close to the neighborhood where I went to undergrad for 4 years. They feel like a part of me.

AB once told me to stop reading sad books. I can't help it if those are the best ones. I sincerely cried through the last two chapters of Amateur Marriage. Not the endless tears of depression which I know so well, but heartbreak tears - the kind that come with gasping and snot and sweat and your voice is all messed up afterwards.

Thank you, Anne Tyler.

From "The Beginner's Goodbye," Anne Tyler. 

Outside about a half hour ago there was arguing in Spanish and the tiny dogs in the apartment on the corner were barking hysterically. I think it was the couple who live two doors down from me and have twin boys that I see playing outside with their dad sometimes. Then a sound like a hit and then silence; I've never been hit by a man - I don't know that sound except from TV so maybe it was just the door slamming. I didn't see anything. What do I do? Just keep an ear out, I guess.

like a K-drama villain

They left me! I had a 3:30 meeting, but it only lasted 20 minutes, so I was all set to go running. I got there 5 minutes early, but they figured I wouldn't make it so they'd already started running. Boo. I ran 5K by myself around the campus instead. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy running by myself, but I don't enjoy getting left. My office mate was kind of pissy today, so I just wanted to be around relaxed people. Wasn't meant to be. For the last mile, this random guy was using me to pace. Just pass me! He stayed about 50 yards back so I couldn't hear him breathing or anything, but I knew he was there. It did put the pressure on me to keep running though. It was kind of flattering - most runners just pass me since I only run like 9:45 mile pace. Random guy, can we be friends?

I came home and somehow started watching Live Free or Die Hard (2007) and now I can't stop, even though it's all cut up into commercials so it lasts extra long. Right now a snazzy fighter pilot is trying to kill Bruce Willis and destroying millions of dollars in highway infrastructure. Oops. Total engine failure. Commercial. I have to wake up at 6am, but I've come too far to stop now. I sound like a K-drama villain.

I was driving home thinking how this time last year I was in the beginning stages of dating Bud. Oh, I wish I could date CH. I want to date someone, but I not anyone, and so for the time being I find myself alone. Ah well, at least I have a cute apartment.

I haven't seen the spider in the car or any webs for the past 2 days. Doesn't mean it's not there.

spinach

When did I get into cooking myself fabulous weekend breakfasts? I lived in GA for a year and my uncle used to do it; back then I never understood, but I ate the benefits. I'm nowhere near as dedicated a chef as he is, but a breakfast of eggs, sausage, spinach, 1% milk, and coffee was delicious. Now I'm waiting for it to digest so I can go on a quick run - this week is supposed to be rainy so I want to get the run in while I can.

I eat it straight from the bowl.

while convalescing of course

I thought I had the worst day of work ever yesterday - one of my proposers didn't get to propose, we had to call 911 because of a medical emergency right outside my office, and I made a stupid math error 2 weeks ago that BH just caught that afternoon. I don't like messing up. I don't like watching people throw up in a trash can while I stand around feeling helpless and get them water and a wet paper towel for their forehead. I need first aid training.

I'm a mess.

By 4:30 I was tired of life so I left work, went to the grocery store, went home, and went to sleep at 8pm. But then my period started today so I realize it was all exacerbated by PMS-ing. My trouble with PMS-ing is that I never realize I'm doing it until the MS-ing actually starts. I had to make an emergency run to Kmart b/c I was not prepared at all and there were super long lines - who legit grocery shops in Kmart at 12:30 in the afternoon on a Friday? I wanted to cry. I literally had to talk myself out of crying. Don't worry - I am laughing at myself now. While convalescing of course. Blah!

I skipped running, but did a half hour of beginner sun yoga. My arms hurt from downward facing dog.  Tomorrow is CK's 27th birthday and her plan is to have all the girls go shopping in Hampden, a really cute neighborhood I used to walk around in college with MW. So I bought a present and of course you must look your best while out with a bunch of girls you never met before. Challenge accepted.

Bring your A-game, chicas.

There is a tiny spider in my sissy's car creating webs behind my back. I am trying to kill it by leaving the windows shut tight so it dies from overheating.

the stairs dun Dun DUN

Second day in a row of running. Yesterday it rained so we did a stair workout: jog around the building (0.65mi), then go inside and run/hop up 11 flights of stairs. Repeat to your heart's content. I always wanted to be built thin so all clothes look good on me, but I am built with actual muscles. So 11 flights of stairs isn't that bad. Yeah, I get tired by the 9th flight, but confession - I don't really have to push myself, so I recover quickly. Anyway, today was sunny so I went running with a couple girls and wow were my calves sore-the backs. Must Google ways to stretch calves. But my thighs are perfectly fine. Told you I have muscles.

Today we ran a mile to warm up, stretched, ran another mile, then did lunges and sprints. This was only possible b/c it was just me and LA (M left us when we stopped to stretch). If the rest of the running group had been there it wouldn't have happened; like M, they have an irrational aversion to stretching, and I have never seen them sprint. I sprint faster than the avg girl b/c I'm not really built for long distance. What endurance I have comes from sheer orneriness by mile 3. Even my high school guidance counselor said I was stubborn. My way - no highway option.

I see you trying to find a road out of this ish but it ain't happening. ;-P

Getting bored with business casual. How to dress professionally and still have fun dressing? This is an unexpected aspect of college that I miss. These days I live for casual Friday.

I finally understand the difference between highways and parkways, and I love that most of my commute to work is spent on the parkway. I love trees.